YELL FOR THE UNDERDOGS!!

This post is dedicated to all the underdogs.. Goodness I was so so into "Battle of the reality stars".. Best... and what made it 'more best' is how the light blue team, managed to beat every single team along their way... call it luck.. nah!! I dun think so.. perhaps 'luck' helped a tinny weeeny bit but I think the desire and hunger to succeed and prove their old groupmates wrong, pulled the group together!! I really like the ending tho' when Bradford said that Mr Trump got what he paid for and if he is looking for great to go and call him.. hahhahaa.... and Heidi is such a sour puss.. oh pluss!!!! "White trash" Wonder who she was referring to... akakkaa...

Anyway.. (since I sooo lurve getting lessons out of the unusual things in life) this episode shows... that we can triumph if we really want to so badly.... whatever ppl may think and whatever the odds..

Hopefully.. the fire in my belly will be 're' charged up.. seriously.. I don't know where it has gone lately... been procrastinating lah.. and just taking so long to getting SOME work done...

so yeah.. FIRE UP!!

hahahah that can come later tonite lah.. now goin to dinner with family.... :)

And so I digress...

My powers of digression and also procrastination amazes me sometimes.. anyway, took this Handwritting Personality Quiz.. and this what it says ..

The results of your analysis say:
You plan ahead, and are interested in beauty, design, outward appearance, and symmetry. You are a shy, idealistic person who does not find it easy to have relationships, especially intimate ones. You are diplomatic, objective, and live in the present. You are a talkative person, maybe even a busybody! You are self-confident and like to bring attention to yourself.

Correct ke?? Lor?? Betul ke?? hahhaa but I kinda agree with it!!

okok..this time, I really will get back to work!

Alls Well!!

It has been so long that I woke up early on a monday and manage to squeeze some form of work in.. and by early I mean up and showered by 10.30.. (anyone who knows me would agree!! ahaha) The get away trip with mum and littlest bro over the weekend to Jakarta was brilliant.. Met Auntie Lina and her daughter Sisca.. It has been such a long time.. It's nice to see someone who have managed to overcome illness (she got Hep C from blood transfusion!!) and look so good at age 60 without plastic surgery and remain 'clean' (NO KORUPSI) in that country.. Going away with just me and littlest bro was fun since it gave me 'alone' time with mum to jus chat to her.. 'ngobrol-ngobrol' as the Javanese would say, and get some things off her mind.. and with my little brother I kinda know how to play 'bidamon' (wonder if I spelled that correctly).. This 'thingy' is actually the 'old school' marbles game man!!

Alls Well in my land rite now!! Friends great!! (Thanks Edleen!!) Everything ok on the home front!! and School is currently swell and fine and fun too!!

Adios!! Shall get back to work before goin to school later!! Oh yesh..been sooooo craving for a manicure..Just realised that my nails are really thin!!

Blankness..

Dunno what to call this entry.. But told Mushi on Thursday after dinner I would upload the lyrics of the song that she suddenly blurted out singing.. hahaha.. EARWORM!!

Anyway.. met Mushi on Thursday after lessons..and we went for Dinner after that.. Girl..thanks thanks for listening to me.. pathetic fallacy lah.. why? it was drizzling and it was dark! Had KFC in Clementi.. She was shaking (to warm herself?) hahah cos it was cold in there.. I wanted to buy the new Sugarbabes CD.. love one of their songs especially.. "Ugly"'s the title.. I love the part especially which goes...
"People are all the same And we only get judged by what we do Personality reflects name And if I'm ugly then So are you So are you Everybody talks bad about somebody And never realises how it affects somebody And you bet it won't be forgotten Envy is the only thing it could be"
Nice rite!!!! Bet it could apply to almost every individual.. Best best best!! Oh yeah back to finding the CD..do you know I was walking around Clementi and I could not find any CD shop? NONE?!! Is it me? Or is it that the people there don't buy CD?? By the time I got back it was too late to go to the other music shops..Strange!!

Oh yeah.. back to the song that Mushi sang.. so anyway, we were walkin in the rain (was only drizzling) and then she started singing the song from Land Before Time "If we hold on together" by Diana Ross..ahahha I haven heard the song for a long time..but it was apt for the situation!!

Anyway, I think the lyrics are great!!!
Don't lose your way
With each passing day
You've come so far Don't throw it
Live believing
Dreams are for weaving
Wonders are waiting to start
Live your story Faith, hope & glory
Hold on to the truth in your heart
If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by For you and I.

Souls and the wind must
Learn how to bend
Seek out a star
Hold on to the end
Valley Mountain
There is a fountain
Washes our tears all away
Words are swaying Someone is praying
Please let us come home to stay..

Words currently in my mind

Bah-rem-you! Bah-rem-You!!

Dengkulmuanjelok! Dengkumuanjelok!!

I'm a SURVIVOR!

No one to get my back!! (Linda laughed at this one!! And yesh I know it sounds very 50 cents!!)

Bah! Bah! Bah!

K rite now those are the things in my mind! Not that intelligent huh?!

1st Day of School

1st day of school.... can't really find a sole single word to describe it.. it started well..Met Huixuan who just came back from Aussie. She graduated already and is contemplating on the 'right job' for her. Lab work? or Sales? And so the debate shall continue..

How was class?? Let's just say I miss having a table.. This class doesn't even have the chairs with attached table..It's just chairs.. I gather its going to be a lil' tricky writing notes in class especially since I am such a klutz!

It rained today..and I got a nice pink umbrella.. Real happy with that! Well..really miss having Nornie in class suddenly.. Such a cheer and joy to have her.. NORNIE.!! I bet she misses me too.. (she better)

Let's just say... I hope to do things in the right spirit..and Insya Allah..everything will work itself out the way it is supposed to!

Hope this positive outlook of mine remains thro' out the semester!

And the anxiousness starts to creep in..

Waduh Waduh!! Was printing all the outlines for my modules since classes start tommorrow..and looking at the amount of readings and the work requirements for each, wah!! can faint!! (Spin around, hand on forehead...spin around again.. scream ..arrrgghh....and then fall down gracefully!!) hahha ok lah nonsense a bit.. But yeah the point is..That is a lot of work man.. Haiya kinda regretting the fact that I did an extra module for PS which I could have done for SW.. But since this is the new year, and I want to look at things on a positive side.. shall smile, smile, and then try to do the work as best as I can..

and the rain is brilliant huh...(not when you are caught in it) But rain makes the temperatures drop and prevents make-up from being oily..

My new clean room!!

Yesh!! A sense of accomplishment.. I finally cleaned up my room.. put things in drawers and re-arranged the furnitures.. Its amazing I tell u!!

I put all my drawers together and arranged them from the tallest to the shortest.. Neat huh?? So proud of myself! And there is a sort of design to it some more!! Wow!

And space! Finally after I put all the clutter away, and moved my bed against the wall, there is walking space in my room.. Re arranging your room and having walking space is amaing I tell you.. Its like a wall has been hacked. Physically and mentally it feels so much better!

And look..no more clutter on the floor!! See Arfah next time you come you don't have to trip and tip toe around my stuff hahhaa...

No..I am not narcassistic to put the same picture 2 times but Arfah said that I should give credit where credit is due.. So here it goes..THis is me, with Arfah's teddy bear, given my Andrea. It's name is Pon.. (hahha happy now Arfah?! and yup it looks cute) Why did I take a picture with the bear instead of her? Well I tried to..She didn't want to..Killing time and saw her bear on her bed so I decided to take picture with it instead!!

A new year...

The new year is here!! I think for me, the past 2 years just came and past very quickly, and I never sat down to take stock of whatever happened... And so..here are some pictures which carries so much memories for me.. Its so surprising to realise that there are some good friends who I never took any pictures with.. and in no relevant order...

Pictures N Memories

My 4 best pals in secondary school from left, Edleen, me, Sharifah, and Salina.. It was taken after I finished my A levels.. We all went to NUS to visit Salina who was warded for asthma! I really miss all you 3 girls.. Its been so long since we last sat down and just chat huh.. Tiny picture of me and Edleen during secondary 4 talentime.. We sang such a sweet song..And lastly picture of us together when we had lunch somewhere this year..

Since all my good friends will know by know, I am a total clutz and a hazzard.. So What accident did I land Edleen in..hahah I am sure there were plenty but the one that really stands out is the one in Secondary One where I tripped over a tiny step in the parade square, and in the process pushing Edleen. Salina was in front of us..but since she could only safe one of us, she saved me..and Edleen fell down, blacked out for a while and chipped her front tooth..hehe but all is well..she had it pasted already.. Well that sparked the start of a brilliant friendship.

Thank you Edleen dear for being there all the time, and just a phone call away..and like you always say.. don't say I don't know..because you know..


Lets describe the pics first:
Picture 1: Arfah, Nornie, and me during raya this yr. Picture 2: Me, Nornie, Arti and Hannah during JJ nite in Yr1. Picture 3: Me and Arfah (I held Arfah hostage. She refused to had her picture taken). Picture 4: Nornie (I found this picture of her. ALONE! on my hp. I think it was taken last semester when we were studying and she got bored)

Well..loved every single one of them.. Arti was with me the first ever time I drove alone mind you..Hehhe got into a minor blotch up at first and then got totally lost..Her mouth was utterly "masin" (sure to come true). She said as we were on our way to hannah place "we sure to pass by school" and we did..we went to JJC which was in Jurong, when we were actually from School in Clementi going to Bukit Panjang..hahha Totally the wrong way! But it was fun..and she was really patient with me! And for the many occasions where she allowed me to just be chaotic and stressed and her just telling me to relax!

And Nornie..humm..I don't think I ever got her into trouble though..But I really love her company all the time..I miss having someone to bitch about in social work class, or going to lunch after that and stoning and 'spotting' exam questions with utter laughter..Must go out soon yeah! And remember all the shopping....

Must thank Hannah for all the shopping tips..and always telling me to relax!!

And now, Arfah's turn..This girl got it real bad in terms of my 'clutzness'..hahah the many times I grabbed on her when I almost fell on the escalator..But the emmy prize has to go to this particular time when I pushed her down the stairs of the lecture theater in science. Why? it was break time, I missed one step..and then in slow mo..I could see all the many steps going pass me one by one..but no..I could not step on any one of them..then I saw the door..so I held my hand outstretched..and low and behold..it was Arfah coming to the door..she broke my fall..hahahha Just as she was about to get angry (I am sure it hurt huh babe!) I had this pathetic face of mine going "I tripped! So Sorry!" SO yeah..she didn't scold me..hahha So now..she has gotten used to it already...Well thanks ya for talking to me all the time, listening to my whining..and then everytime I need to do something without clarity, become my partner in crime..Remember the time when we were learning to drive and I told you and Andee the wrong bus to take and we ended up close to an army camp..hahhahaha

Picture of me and ND. Well girl..don't get angry with me. I do have nicer picture of us but I think this picture really capture whatever we have to always go true together..Hard times in school!! :)

So many stories of us being lost together..Remember how blur we were when we wanted to register to learn driving? And the many stories we have of Econs during JJ..and also the so many late nite phone calls where you helped to keep me sane?? I really appreciate our friendship babe..Thanks for everything..

Picture of me and Mushi..hahah don't the both of us look really coy? (See Mushi I didn't put any incriminating photos of you..and yesh ok I do have them!) With Mushi, she always took precaution not to be pulled into accidents cos of dear old me..Just wanted to thank you for the many wonderful times we have in school, especially while studying till we were mad in NUS. Its so hard to remain sane if not..And do help me keep my sanity next semester yeah.. Lets work to our plan of having hair cuts together and going for spas together.. Like I say, its the frienships which have been tested but remains that endures..SO let's just remember the good times..

Picture of me with Yani..(she was actually trying to take a picture of Faiza I think) Got close to her in uni..but especially this semester cos we were studying together and took a subject together..Really love the 'post-law' lesson drive where we would talk about private stuff!! Gerek u!

Picture of me and Linda..Even though we are worlds apart..and I do mean WORLDS! I can understand her and her, understand me..You will never be able to guess how much your point of view of things really enrich me..That is why everytime I am troubled, I give you a ring..and the many ingenious off-hand jokes!



Picture of me and Arafah..What can I say? Thank you for the wonderful frienship over the years.. "temaning" me in all my errands..I was just having flashbacks of the times when we were relief teaching and with lotsa KKChing to spare where we will meet up after work and eat and shop..wah best..Very carefree ways.. Though times have changed..and you have become a mother..thank you for still making time for me, and always lending me a listening year to all my little whinnyness though you got your own stuff to deal with.. I hope and pray that this new year will bring you lots of happy and new things..and seriously girl, motherhood has changed you..and through you, I can see that motherhood makes a person less selfish..


And well, lets just end with a picture of me..(hahah how narcassistic!) There are so many other people who have made such a great impact in my life and provided me with so much love and support.. Jannah for one.. who I don't have a picture of. oh yeah..ok of hand just remembered how I pasted her to the side of the bus cos' I flew when the bus jerked to a stop and she cushioned my fall!hahha.. and so many of my other friends.. It has seriously been such a long time since I took stock of whatever I have. I hope this year will be the start of new things to come..God willing.. To a more positive outlook and to just take whatever comes with an open mind and heart!

A new year..

It has been a long time since I last blog..ahhaha not as if anything out of the world has happened to me.. with the exception of going to KL with my family (with so many ppl from my area also going) and now down with food poisoning. (the pooing and vomitting has subsided tho)

Updates on what I have managed to achieve:

1. Managed to get a hair cut
2. Got a massage (sponsored by mummy dearest)
3. Cleaned up my room (somewhat la..threw away so much stuff and my study table can actually be used..hahhaha just that I havent shifted the furnitures around, which according to Arfah will make my room bigger)

Funny how I actually can't wait for the new school semester. Bought my stationary already!! And this coming semester will mark the end of my schooling life, which has been really full of ups and downs, me learning about so much, and most importantly learning about myself.

An sms by this beng fren of mine really got me reminising back to my secondary school life. Back in secondary school, well my parents were my no.1 enemies. With mum so busy trying to get work together, my dad living abroad, I was very much alone, frustrated and angry (I did't know that I was just needing some parental love back then and it was all mere acting out) Mom was rather disappointed with my results and me going to a crappy secondary school. So while I got into the best class in secondary 1 (which wasn't hard since you only needed 188 aggregate to get to express) it was a downward spiral for me then on. I didn't manage to stay there.. Went to the middle class (hahaha there were only 3 express class) and only had to study 6 subjects. So my teenage life was really fun, fun, fun. It wasn't about projects, or studying. Got to secondary 3 barely passing. My class shrinked though from 40 to 25. The rest had to stay back. But school was still a big big blast. Met people who continues to be the best of my friends till today. My beng friends like Hao Yan and Zehai, who always told me to study while they didn't and who still call and message me now from time to time to make sure I still study and do some work. Zehai had the most fun in secondary school. He spent 6 years there..hahhahaa played too much lah. and Hao Yan only 5. And then, there were my 4 best girl friends. Its funny how they got into trouble, but especially for Salina, i can remember, always prevented me from getting into any trouble. I remember this one incident when she scolded someone who wanted me to smoke. Hahhaha cute kan..But she smoked a lot lah... and then there is Sharifah, who disappears and then reappears from time to time. THen finally, my very dear friend, Edleen. She knows me inside out and we used to fight a lot ok. hahah that is why there wasn't any grievances. When we were angry with each other in class, we would just shout it out (no one would care lah not like they were listening) But I love her loads. ALways a believer in me. and always just a phone call away. Thanks for everything gurl!! Memories of secondary school will always remain close to my heart.

Then, miraculously I made it to JC. I tell you the first day of 1st 3 months were the loneliest for me. I has no one. I remembered going to JJC and then calling HY "eh, I think I wanna go home lah". His reply "eh..just go in lah. U special what. Dun be stupid lah" hahha so yeah I stuck around. Was totally surprised by the whole orientation. Back where I was from (i.e secondary school, we didnt do all these orientation games) made a good friend Mol, who was also in the same class for the 1st 3 months with me. We were always late for school back then, or went back half way..

1st 3 months came and went quickly (many thanks to HY who sent me to school to give me support or was on the phone though he had to go to work the next day..I miss McDonalds breakfast with you!!) Proper schooling started..met Arafah, Arfah and Nornie during orientation. Was fun..Everlasting friendships ok babe!! If not I sure to hunt you girls down.. Many thanks to Andrea who helped me through A levels, I helped her with history and she helped me with lit. Econs is another different episode...hahhaa. Had great fun during the CHina trip with Mushi.. who I drove mad with my antiics..(eh, pls destroy my incriminating pictures!!hahah) My class was loads and loads of fun. So was drama, and in yr one debates..Malay girls were heaps of fun..

And so.. I am currently running the last lap of my education run ~ Uni..What can I say about it? Its really colourful. I became another person in Uni I must say..I lost my spark somewhere down the line, and became rather anal at times, and I lost that sense of "I can do anything". Sad!
University actually made me feel inferior. And with me failing in Yr 1 semester 2, I always had this nagging feeling behind me, telling me I could fail..Which I have never felt before. Previously, It was always, "haiya I can do it if I want to..if cannot or dun want, can do something else". Its sad that I only realised this now, but a late realisation is better than never. Worst things could have happen. I am determined to enjoy my last semseter, with the feeling that I can do anything if I want to. GIve my best..and let fate determine the rest..

ps/ Thank you to that special person who helped me a lot emotionally through my uni days and always believed that I could do it. I have really grown as a person from the experience! :)

My relationship with my parents improved greatly over the years. It is the best now I must say. How? I think it was during JC when my mum said sorry to me for not being there for me. And an apology from a parent, is very powerful. It marked a different chapter and different way of relating between her and me.. She still misses those times she was away from me though. From my childhood (cos she was traveling so much) and secondary school. Everytime we go into a departmental store she will say "how I wish I could have buy all of this" and I will say "yeah, cos you didnt have a chance to do that for me" and we will just have a twinkle our eyes and laugh.

ok so 22 years of living is really not long, but so far, I am so so glad that I met so many nice people along the way. People who always have my back... God have been really kind to me..

Shall stop now, and leave with a long quote my mum messaged me the other day..

Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dreams. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success.
If you believe you cannot do something, it makes you incapable of doing it. But when you believe you can, then you acquire the ability to do it even if you didn't have it in the very beginning.

Results

Results will be out tommorrow at 9 am. Yikes! Super SCARY!!

Humm.. I really think I should get down to doing something for my ISM lest time runs out when school semester starts..Have been going out far way too much I think..hehe..but we all need to have fun huh..I know that when school starts I won't have that much time..especially since my time table will SUCK seeing I got to take level 3000 with tutorials and all..

Ok..rite now..almost hyperventilating..so so scared!!

A nice afternoon...

It is such a nice afternoon today...Sunny and breezy without the glaring heat! Wowee...

So far I have accomplished 1 thing that I wanted to do this hol..CUT MY HAIR..yup yup! It was real fun..went to cut hair with Mushi and Oyeah...

Going on to accomplish (finger's and eveything else crossed) another thing that I want to accomplish this hols (actually it was brought forward..for the past 2 semester) Well..when I say going to accomplish, it means I am going to start thinking about it..and also well, lets just say start small..throw things under my bed..*i looked down and I saw old shopping bags, boxes..oh goodness!! Soon I will be one in the newspaper.."girl infested with bacteria"..wakakka

But before I really reallly really accomplish cleaning up my room, today is such a nice day to cook huh?! Well Dad bought prawns..so I am going to cook dinner tonite!

1. Cold Prawn Salad
2. Lobster Thermidor with a little modifications from the recipe that I found in http://www.lobster-recipes.com/lobster-thermidor.html
*this recipe takes too much time! wakkaka
3. Baked Potato

Should be yummy!! Feeling great now!!
The cook shall go to the kitchen..after some MTV that is...
I AM BECOMING SUCH A PROCRASTINATOR!

Sometimes

Once in a while, we meet someone who leaves us feeling like crap..and it results in us questioning ourself..why me? why? I hate this! I don't like him/her..that sort of thing..

For me, this type of 'someone' happen to pass my way so many times, through the disguise of different people. And it is through meeting all these 'someone' that I feel I have grown as a person..Previously, I would be extremely bitter, pit myself against the other person..ladi da..But now, whenever such 'someone' cross my path, I just well whine for a while, after all I am human, and then just move on. I pray my heart will not be tainted with all these evil hearts. I dun want to sell myself because of them..Like what my mother say,

You can't control anyone, You can only control YOURSELF!

That is true huh. So yeah, while at first I question the way I resolve issues with all these 'someone(s)', asking myself if it is the cowardly way out, now I know that I can only control myself and it's no point wasting time on all the 'someone' of the world.

This song, I feel is a brilliant way to deal with all the 'someone' who have crossed my path, still in my path, or will cross my path in the future..

Lee Ann Womack "I hope you'll dance"

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give fate the fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you danceI hope you dance
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances but they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you still feel small when you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith the fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you'll dance...

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope I will always continue 'dancing'

XXX

Nah nothing x-rated about this entry. Just didn't know what to call this entry otherwise. Its funny how I no longer feel so tired, angry, sad, confused or jus shitty after the exams.

This semester exams truly have sapped me. It has sapped me from myself. I have become another person I think. While on the exterior everything seemed all fine and well, in actual fact I was really trying very hard to pull everything, and myself together. Sad. Very sad. Doing that took energy away from actually doing my papers and exams properly. I really didn't feel like my answers reflected what I actually know. But its all been said and done.. all I can do now is pray, and Insya Allah, everything will turn out fine, by some twist of miracle.

I really want to do the way I do things next semester. I really feel glad that I have found what I really want to do.. (shuush!! Cannot tell...I hope its really what I want!)

Well..things are over, I shall not let all that has gone wrong be a shadow for me. Especially if I still get to do next semester.

After my last paper, had a nice lunch with Mushi who battled (studied) with me, and hannah.. Was fun just talking without looking at the time to go back to studying...

And it was so brilliant going Last minute jalan raya on Friday with jjc girls. 10 of them seh!! hahah yeah yeah very last minute but terribly fun! I missed jus having fun..like haha fun! Yeepie!

Things to do..
1. Get a full body massage
2. Get a nice facial
3. Clean up my room which is getting way too messy for me (a very bad sign)
4. Rest, Relax, and prepare for next semester!

A line that my mum said to me in the car after we were debating on something, which my father agreed...
"You can be humble, but don't put yourself down! You have been putting yourself down too often recently!"

Opps..given the context it does make sense was pondering about it. I kept quiet after that..Hai love my parents for making sense and saying things in my face.. Love the confidence that my upbringing has given me. The sense that I can do anything that I want. Thank you MUM and DAD!

Going shopping with mum tommorrow!!

*WAILS*

I dun think I am performing.
Doing the paper, I really, really was trying very hard to think!!
What's happening to me?!
I go home, I feel UTTERLY tired..
Having to drag, DRAG myself everyday..
Ain't any fun..

EERRGGUHHH!!! Wake up Firdawati!!
You can do it!
IT'S NOT THE END TILL ITS THE END!

*Puke*

*Puke*
*PUKE*
**GREEN PUKE**
**GREEN PUKE with ....**

Shall stop there.. Well that basically describes my Cs1105 exams. It was deceptively simple. Until u try to answer them that is. The mcq was (*&^$)%#@%*_)%$#$%UBHU%$guy%$^%..

Have u ever notice how friendship at 20 years old is different from teenage years. I just find 'friendship' at 20 years old to be one that is rather superficial (lack of a better word). We see one another, greet 'Hi!' with amazement, say 'How have you been?' and then 'Oh..ok catch up with you soon'! I think it will be ok if people say that and they actually catch up with you.. but they don't and the next time you see the same person, the same cycle repeats. Or what about how people just don't make time for communication anymore.. Like finding out how the other person is, by calling even if its 10 minutes, or even sms to find out if they are ok. I think I have been guilty of this same crime to 'some people' and for others, I think I have been the one calling or smsing far too much (sounds like I am whining!! ahahha) But yeah it' s just me thinking.

While I strive to give my best for whatever is left of this exams (I dun think I have.. have stocked up on red bull), shall still stive to do my best, make time, at least sms to keep in touch.. and for those who just cant be bothered.. well.. que sera sera...

"Never pursue a distancer" ... Bowenian Family Therapy
*though I might have just taken it out of context in this case..but its true.. No more fusion! Autonomy and independence and differentiation shall prevail!

Toodles..

I just love blogging.. see my mood changes from one of *green puke* to a happy toodles.. and now I just sound mad!

Isolationism

And so.. my period of isolationism has started... Exams start this saturday. Usually my period of isolationism starts at least a week before exams. Times have changed. I really have very little time to study this semester. Ironically, I think I learnt the most this semester compared to previous semester!

Full Steam Ahead...................!!!!!!

Madness

Nice? Its the only picture I could find in my handphone.. Taken during Raya.. Tis my cuz Nadira. She's onli in Sec 1!

Anyway..The few hrs of Raya was fun..went to grandma house.. met cousins and aunts. But got interrupted lah a few times... No pt talkin bout it.. over anyways..

Exams just around the corner.. Tryin to keep sane, remain relax, study as much as possible.. Just realised I can't concentrate at home. Been goin to school and stayin there till late.. Hope it all pays off..insyallah..

Came back home today.. nonKrong (Javanese for 'sat in front of') MTV..watched "I want a famous face"..Just left me wondering about how healthy this show is? I mean why do people wanna look similar like another person? And some of the girls are already naturally pretty I tell you..Like this girl who wanted to look like Jessica Simpson. Are we putting across the wrong message for other youths, considering the how powerful popular culture (MTV) is?? I think what many of these girls need is self-esteem boost. Seriously, I ain't all against plastic surgery. In some cases, I think its necessary, like burnt victims, babies with cleft.. but not for girls who already look so good.. Are we promoting superficial, cookie-cutter beauty??

Right..lets get back to work...

Pening

In Central Library rite now... trying to start studying for SW4102.. Seriously I feel like the stuff for this module is all over the place. Very tired.. Feeling like my brain has reached maximum capacity and there is no more space to fill up new information.. ARRggghhHH!!

I dun feel 'pening' exactly but the darn information just refuses to go in..

THat's it .. I AM GOING HOME!

ARRGgggHHH

Draggy

I have been dragging myself out of bed, to the shower, to school, in finishing up my essay .. etc recently. I just feel so tired..and waking up in the morning feels super hard..even though my exams are like around the corner..(why do ppl say that anyway?) I really just wanna relax and sleep..but I think sleep is a luxury looking at the amount of work to be done.. Doing my last assignment...after which, can start studying (am I supposed to be happy and say YEAH!??)

Hari Raya was nice (well the 5 hrs that I spent in my grandma's house) took pics with my cuz and aunt and grandpa and grandma..and my family.. sadly, went back home after that to finish up my evaluation paper..

This year, more people came over to my house during the 2nd and 3rd day.. wah till the wee hours of the morning.. It's nice though in a way, cos' if not we all wouldn't get a chance to catch up.. hai.. sadness..

well.. got no time to put pics in and resize and all.. take a look at my cuzzie's blog - she put up some nice pic.. even though one of them got my tudung senget!