Thursday, April 12, 2007


feeling super blank now.. i've been working for like 16 hrs shift.. that it is irritating the living hells out of me... I hate it... I missing out for so much.. and sometimes I feel so urrgh.. but I do enjoy some bits of it at times..

well.. now i am jus blank and tot of putting in ramdom tots on my blog.

wld be nice to have a massage right now. shoulder cramp.. similar cramp i had when i was in jc.. and later in hons year.. so i know that i am working blardy hard..

being rudder to ppl now.. glad that people have been extra forgiving towards me. very blessed for tat. people going out of their way to help me also.

tired, cramped, piece of shit.. blank random tots.. i jus wana sleep and sleep.. i miss sleeping.. i reli jus miss chiling and sleeping

and my shoulder is cramped. my head feels heavy. wanna cut my hair. enuf randomness

Monday, April 09, 2007


This entry is totally goin to be totally random.. speaks a whole lot to my state of consciousness at this juncture.. Supposed to be writing a report. BUT, I just can't concentrate so why bother right.. well I ain't got a choice.. report ain't that hard lah.. but I realised there is a lot of information that I am missing at this point. not that it is bad.. I got the basic stuff I need lah..

BUt I need to feel more relaxed then it would flow out more nicely.. Dunno.. I just do not feel happy when the standard of work I give is not up to par.. It sucks when the person you are fighting with is yourself..

Lately, I've noticed that I have done things which I really regret after doing it.. the things I have said to people (which I think are mean) and the things I do.. I really hope that at the end of the day, I would be able to hold on to my integrity, my passion for life and my idealism.. Increasingly, I realised that it is getting harder and harder.. Life ain't bad for me.. But perhaps I've had it too good?? I still am trying to just smile.. and smile.. But work is tough.. the cases are getting tougher at times and I find myself being tired ...

Can't really share difficulties with my family cos my parents are the type who would tell me to grit my teeth and just fight on.. "how else you think we got here" blah blah blah.. yeah you get my drift.. thankful for the friends whom have provided me with so much support.. Right now, I am feeling so much better.. was worst for wear 2 wks ago.. very very grateful that my friend yat agreed to meet me last minute, cheered me up and could really understand and provided me with positive reframing of what I otherwise thought was a sucky- of the suckiest situation!

Seriously, I would like to know how my bosses are thinking about my work.. I did not have my 6 mth review which ppl in my office had.. I do hope to have my 1 yr review.. It's like a compass.. a map.. and for me.. to know where I am going and the path that I had walked..

But I have been feeling reali tired recently, and not rested.. hope this will pass.. reli hope this will pass!!!

Can't wait for 21 Apr 2007 ----- I miss my GURLS!!!!!!!! ANDREA, ARFAH, NORNIE,LINDA!!! here I COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!