Saturday, October 22, 2005

Have Faith

Why have faith? To remind myself that I should have faith in myself. So basically this sudden 'recollection' of faith occured cos' my group's computing project turned out to be a top ten out of god knows how many...
Date: 21/10/2005 09:57:00 PM
Instructors' Announcements
The 10 Best Projects
Congratulations to students who submitted the following projects!
Please email YANG Yinping and inform her if you would present in LT or on website.
In alphabetical order, the best projects are:
A Unified Electronic Medical Database in Singapore
"Being Singaporean and Representing Singapore": The Internet and National Identity
Camera Phone Trouble and Singapore Law
Cyber-Counseling in Singapore
Introspections, Retrospections and Perceptions of ICT in Tourism.
Laptop + Lecture = Attention or Distraction
Pervasiveness, Perceptions and Regulations of Cyberloafing - a Singapore Context
Role of ICT in the Singapore Armed Forces
The Web Voice in NKF Incident
Would You Date Me? An Inquiry and Review of Online Dating Services

It should be quite clear which one was my group's rite... So anyway, guess what, all my group members declared this subject S/U, which also means pass or fail. U don't get a grade no matter how you do..unless you fail of course. While the first breath of news was greeted with shock, whine and more whine (Azeanni got a FULL blow of it. why? cos' need to present mah and so much work for something that isn't graded) I came to the conclusion that all this is a lesson in disguise, a good lesson. Why? cos' it just means that everything is possible (except for some like fixing a computer, tyre, or running 3 km..which maybe all of that is still possible? wldn't know till I tried). And the fear of a foreign module no longer haunts me (cos' I got an F for a biophysics module which pulled my cap so so low). So this module has given me bitter sweet memories (!! I can't even believe I said that!!!). Not everything foreign is impossible..

So.. If at first you don't succeed, dust it off and try again!

And.. I can slack for this paper's exam and concentrate on my social work modules!! Hurrah!!

Friday, October 21, 2005

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Picture meant to show jus how a nerd I am. Posing in the library!! :)


Thursday, October 20, 2005


Dunno what's wrong but I have been feeling very very sleepy and lethargic lately. And when I say sleeeepy, I really! Really! REALLY! mean SLEEPY!! and the scary thing is, I SLEEP A WHOLE LOT..

For example, on weds, I slept from 11.30 all the way to 4.30 am. (woke up for sahur) and then slept at 6.30 till 12.00. Haiyo!! I also slept like a log on Tuesday night. I really dunno why but the sleep just ain't enough. I just want more and more and more and more and more...........

But got no time!! Its so scary that I got to drag myself to school so I can get some work done. And some is an "overstatement (?)". Why? Its merely like 2 chapters of reading for 4 hrs. Hilarious rite!! I dunno whether is it cause I am so fatigue or have suffered a burn out or I should just create myself a new time table and space out everything. Currently, I am thinking of exercise!! (YIKES!!) from the same girl who had to run her 2.4km fitness test twice cos' she didnt make it the first time round, and who hates sweating. But maybe, just maybe exercise will get my adrenelin pumping..hahhahaha MAYBE!!

ps/ I jus realised that I totally amuse myself everytime I write my blog. hahhha and everything just becomes better. hahhaha oh goodness!!
ps/ps/ Should get myself a ring. aka. married to myself. Pretty good idea since I can entertain myself!

Wednesday, October 19, 2005


Today, Is a BOO!! day for me. BOO!! day!

What is a Boo!! Day?
A Boo day happens when you realised you onli got a B for an essay that you stayed so many nights for. That you thought you did a good work for. That you were proud for. All I can say is at least I tried. But not even a B+?? Ceh!! Haiya.. I guess I expect a lot from myself. But logical what for that amount of effort. But this experience has really woke me up from my 'sleepy-head' syndrome.

sleepy-head syndome: falling asleep all the time. giving in to my lazy demands and giving myself siesta (short-naps) breaks..

Ok..continuing the Boo!! day. So why is today a Boo day? Cos' I have a 12 hr day today..starting at 9 am and finishing onli at 9 pm. Guess what, I didn't bring my phone. So later at 3, I wldn't know if I can actually have anyone in school that I can chat or have a break with. In short, Boo!!

So I go, talking, ventilating, and most importantly, Booing at how everything is going today.. but guess wat, jus saw 3 of my social work friends and they sitting beside me... hahaha and I can't be bothered to erase this entry. hahaha

Now I think I sound mad!!

Monday, October 17, 2005

Was Bored...

Was just getting habituated doing my essay so I decided to take a break.. What else.. Watch MTV!! ahahhha TRL was on.. I like the Vjs. So lively without being over. SO yeah.. anyway, they showcased the new music video by Kelly Clarkson "because of you". At first hearing, one might think that the song refers to an ex right.. wrong, the idea of the song came from Kelly herself, to describe the situation and feelings after her parent's divorce. And since it was so personal she ran the story through her family first. Go catch the music video, its really touching... When you read the lyrics from the perspective that its being sung from the heart of a 5 yr old.. extremely moving!!


Kelly Clarkson - Because Of You Lyrics

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myselfCause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard wayTo never let it get that far
Because of youI never stray too far from the sidewalk

Because of youI learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of youI find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of youI am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because you know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake A smile, a laugh everyday of my life

My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of youI never stray too far from the sidewalk

Because of youI learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of youI find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of youI am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so youngYou should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of youI never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of youI learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of youI try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of youI don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of youI'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of youI am afraid

Because of you
Because of you

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Power of the Subconscious

Here goes, the power of the subconscious....

The things we believe about ourselves and the world around us will always manifest in our reality. If we are convined for whatever reason, that we are unimportant, we will not only live our lives as if we are unimportant, but we will also expect others to treat us without respect.

Anything we learn or experience in life is stored in our subconscious mind. We see the world through our belief filter. E.g., believing that "I am unworthy", will result in everything that you face in life processed in this belief filter. So U don't believe it if someone tells u that ur work is good. If your belief is a negative one, you will never give yourself the chance of balancing the negativity through positive experiences. Your subconscious negative belief will not allow you to do so.

So..what should be do?? Have our own affirmation statements. Short, positive sentences that give us a lift. E.g., I can be relax, calm and happy as I undertake this hard essay!!

Well, that affirmative statement is for me! :) I think sometimes, we beat ourselves up much too hard. It could come from our past where our parents tell us that nothing we do is not good enough, or whatever it is. And these experiences, most of the time, makes us question ourselves. Especially during moments of stress. So, having positive statements in our mind, can serve to boost our ego, and more importantly, give us FAITH in ourself. Ain't this such an important lesson?!! Having faith in ourself! KITA BOLEH!!

Right, time to move my ass and start on my essay!! :)