I was driving and listening to the radio... Then it dawned on me.. Damn I feel lonely... Don't get me wrong it is not that I am not thankful for what I have... Truth be told I think I do take things for granted at times but I am thankful for what I have.. Even though I gripe ever so often nowadays.
Anyway, back to the driving.. Guess what comes to my mind.. K let's see who I can call when I just feel like talking... SO I dialed a few numbers. Guess what...those ppl whom I tot wld not answer my call did and those I really tot would answer my call didn't... Not that I blame them lah cos I know that everyone got their own things to handle...
Ok let's detour again to what I was thinking.. So after I make the phone calls, I really thought about Erik Erikson's developmental theory... I am currently at the stage where I either find intimacy or isolation... While I don't entirely agree... I think Mr Erikson is rite ey... Cos I do find myself feeling lonely at times... And I do yearn for that special someone I can share milestones with, can talk with, someone who can really understand me and not judge me... hahhaa But I know that at this stage, I am grappling with the transition from work to school and finding out who I really am... Haiz.. But somehow I wonder.. Ok..then... I started to think of a pretty old old boy band - CODE RED... hahhaa... The good old secondary school times where I would yack on the phone for hours with so many many different people and did not feel lonely but oh so popular and wanted.. Ok back to CODE RED.. I thought about the song --- Is there someone out there, someone who cares for me, someone through the good and bad times too, is there someone out there, is it you? Sometimes I wonder, did I make the right decision to let him go? But I know I did.. cos that is me thinking when I am utterly lonely and it's neither fair to him nor good for me..
Life goes on.. My collegue who has become a friend to me said, TOmmorrow comes and tommorrow would be a better day... Insya Allah, God Willing, Tommorrow will be a better day..
Okies Now I feel good and sleepy... Weee...
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
I have been soooo utterly sensitive recently... dunno why.. a lil' bit and I tell you I burst.. Cld it be that I hold it in while working with my client? I also dunno.. I do admire some people who reali do their work cognitively... Maybe like wat my mum say.. I think too much causing trouble for myself..Haiz... Haiz.. But I dun tik things are terribly horrid.. It's also how I manage my cases and I manage myself.. trial and error.. trial and error..