Was just rather melancholic when after I dropped Mushi off and on my drive home after visiting my granny at the hospital.
Pause - K the earlier part of the day was rather good cos' I managed to meet a lot of my friends for 2 of my friend's wedding. Mushi and me also managed to kinda settle places where we sld go for our trip in July 08.
K back to my original ramblings.... I guess what got me thinking was really Mushi's qn about "What I want" and "New Yr Resolution".... People very close to me would know that 2008 had been rough for me. Perhaps the roughest ever (then again I've only been alive for 24 yrs). It really had taken me a lot of grit (reminding myself every morning not to be an osrich), love, support and faith. I am terribly indebted to a few people. Lisheng for 'tahaning' the MAD rants even at 2am in the mornings. <--- Had apologised to him for that. ahha I think he was probably glad that I still had the insight to recognised the insanity. Also my SW frens, ding, yat and ling esp who had been always a phone call away. Even my management had pleasantly surprised me. Sometimes, I also don't know if I am the whiner and had perceived my situation worst than it is or whether the situation itself is truly realistically perceived by me and therefore, I am perceiving the difficulties realistically. Mushi thinks its the latter. Haha I really want to believe her since she is blardy honest with me.
Thus far, I think I am muddling through life. While life is not without its up moment, I really wanna take stock and enjoy the everydays - In the words of Natasha Beddingfield - Why do I feel like it is half full when I have enough of it to fill a swimming pool ?? (Gosh, totally sounding bimbotic right now). Perhaps it is just me isn't it, that I want too much from life. Whatever it is, I am hopeful that Morocco would be a start of a de-tox for me and a start of me finding what I want. Well Mr Maslow definately didn't say that self-actualisation was something easy to do!
So much for the ego-centrism, pls pray for my grandparents. I don't know if I ever find the courage to say this to my aunt's face. But truly, my maternal aunt, my mom's youngest sister who had been taking the responsibility to care for my grandparents had allowed my mother to be rid a bit of the responsibility and therefore shower me and the family with attention. Therefore, my family is not so much deprived of her. I hope and pray that if my aunt really need care herself ever, I have the patience and strength to do the right thing for her.